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The reason I was out at the barn early enough last night to catch these 4:00 lesson people feeding and petting my horse (horrors!) was that I had a lesson at 5:30. Before we even started, I asked my trainer if there was anything I could be doing with my position that was making it harder for Henry to get those darn leg-yields down. She pointed out that he's just not that great at them yet, but said she'd watch for it. We ended up working a lot on getting me to sit up and keep my hands forward, which would help him be able to come higher in his withers (he's a little "butt high") and on keeping him forward, even when I was asking for down transitions and halts.
I love that in just 3 lessons, this trainer has already got a good feel on what's going on with me and my horse. I have sometimes felt like instructors or trainers just take a shot in the dark or spout basics over and over, without getting to the heart of real training issues. She also uses Centered Riding-like phrases and images that help me a lot. I'm definitely a visual learner, so things like "try to get his hind feet up into the rings of his bit" and "you want to make him short behind you and long in front of you, so you have more horse to work with" make a lot more sense to me than it would seem they should ;)
I also love having homework, cheesy as it may be. I want to be the best I can be, and Henry to have all the right tools and information he needs to be a great mount. I hate feeling unmotivated to ride because I'm not sure what I should be working on. I don't want to work him too hard, but I do want to continually work on improving various aspects of our partnership and our ride time. I also realize and am REALLY looking forward to the fact that "improving various aspects" will include copious trail riding this spring. None of the barns I have been at in the past have had access to the awesome trails that this one does. I know them well, having ridden them quite a bit from ages 10-18, and I know there are lots of people at the barn who make it a point to ride those trails every week, if not more often. I can't wait!
Until then, though, it's homework!- keeping my shoulders back
- keeping my butt in the saddle (seat bones, here I come)
- keeping my hands forward ("it should feel like he's taking you by the hands - your hands are his, you say nothing with your hands"
- keeping my legs on
- keeping his forward momentum, even in down transitions and halts
- keeping my left rein when cantering to the right
- transitions, transitions, transitions
- some shoulder-in, leg-yield, shoulder-fore to make sure I can put him where I want him
It sounds like a lot, but most of it is making sure I am sitting correctly. My trainer noticed that I'm scared to upset Henry in any way, so I perch on his back with my legs off, hands towards my stomach, and shoulders tipped forward. When I actually sat up last night and put my legs on and my hands forward, it was like he said "THANK you, jeez!" and gave me a real connection. So cool!
I asked her at the end of my lesson if she thought I should keep him. Not in so many words; I was trying to sound casual about it. She sort of looked at me and said that I should definitely keep him, unless I couldn't (half asking, but not being too blunt about it). I mentioned that I had put him up for sale in the summer, when the plan was to go to grad school, but that since I had a job I was making ends meet. I mentioned that I had gotten a couple of offers on him, but that those who came to try him were put off by his sensitivity.
My trainer agreed that he's "not for the average amateur" and that he's too sensitive for many riders. It would be a fight for both Henry and rider to be happy together. She also said that if it were her, she would hold on to him, because once things start to click with him (i.e. once I get my position straightened out and he realizes he can go forward in a connection and I'll only help him out) then I'll be able to get what I'm asking for with a simple shift of the hips. His sensitivity used to be a bit of a curse (and yes, I've chewed him out in my mind a few times), but more and more I know that it's a blessing and gives him the edge he needs to be a great dressage horse.
I emailed the woman from CT to let her know what my decision was, and finally felt the courage to pull his ad from the web, knowing I'll never be considered rich in the eyes of most people, but that with hard work and some luck (and maybe a green Christmas), I'll always be able to find a way to make ends meet. More importantly, though, as long as I have this wonderful horse, I will always feel like a millionaire.
Well, I didn't make it out to the barn today. Between family, food, and errands I ended up whittling away the day until there wasn't a good chunk of time to spend at the barn (I usually need about three hours with getting to and from the barn, grooming, tacking up, etc).
I did, however, get a call AND an email from a woman who saw the ad for Henry online and is interested in buying him for her 13 year old daughter. Hmmm. This is tough for me because I have never been comfortable with the idea of "getting rid of" Henry. I posted the ad at the end of the summer because I was anticipating grad school in the fall, and could not reason my way out of the fact that I would be borrowing money for tuition, living expenses, AND horse stuff. Then, I was offered a full time job and decided to postpone grad school (possibly forever, if I decide that my path is in another direction) thus somewhat alleviating the money situation. Now, don't get me wrong, I am on a pretty tight budget, as many horse owners are. But it would take a very special situation for me to be comfortable selling my horse. I left the ad up just in case there was just such a person who ended up contacting me.
The first call I got, not even a full 24 hours after I posted the ad, was from a woman in Maine who was very aggressive. She asked a million questions, which was great, but there were a few that were a bit off. Then she asked what my address was. I wasn't quite sure how to respond, so I replied, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you need my address?" She wanted to know what address to give her shipper. To come pick up my horse. That she had decided to purchase without vet exam, without meeting or trying out. I refused the sale even though she was willing to pay the asking price.
I got several more calls and a couple of people in state who came to ride him. Nothing really panned out. I got a couple of emails over the fall, asking "Does ur horse jump??!?!?!?!! I m reeeeeeeeely interested!!! Call me!!!!!" Yeesh. I even tried him out on some cross-rails in the field at the barn, to see what he would do. He's not a jumper. And now, out of the blue, two people this week are interested. Well, it IS Black Friday, and I don't doubt he'd be adorable with a big red bow on him, but...
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I mean, I could definitely benefit from having all that extra money lying around (no farrier, SmartPak, board, or vet bills? Hmm...), but then again, Henry is going really well. When would I get the chance to buy another horse? What could I ride in the meantime to keep up my riding skills? Would I ever get the same honesty, the same amount of heart, and that cute face at a bargain like what I got EVER again? I doubt it. I really don't want to end up like so many of the girls I grew up riding with, who slowly find new hobbies and "get rid of" their horses. I have spent four years and countless hours of frustration getting this horse to trust me, and he is giving me a lot in return. I will probably never be able to import a warmblood or feel okay taking out a $75,000 loan for a horse.
My sensible, practical boyfriend pointed out that if I'm going to sell my horse I can't be too picky and I can't be too attached to him. But my boyfriend rides mountain bikes, not horses. He can sell a car without feeling attached. He won't care if the person who buys one of his bike forks online wrecks it. I could never forgive myself if I let Henry fall into a situation where he got skinny, neglected, or recklessly injured. I know I could maintain a buyback clause or whatever, but there is a point that many folks make on some of the other blogs I read: The only way to make sure that your horse is taken care of the way you want is to keep him, and do it yourself.
I had a great show season with Henry this year, and when I bought him I was sure he would never make it past Training Level. Well, with scores in the high 60s and even two 70s this year at Training Level, and with a remarkable trainer leading the pair of us through shoulder-in, lengthenings, and counter canter, I can almost feel the heat of a black jacket and the tension of a warmup ring as we get ready for First Level this summer. The thought of someone buying this horse and getting tired of him or "growing out" of him or "moving up" to their next horse and leaving him in the dust makes me feel so empty. I may eat these words in a few years, when I win the New York State Lotto (Hey, you never know) and send Henry to a retirement farm in Florida, and buy a golden saddle and a diamond encrusted bridle for each of my new Grand Prix warmbloods... but for now I might have to be a Grinch and keep Henry under my own tree this year...
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